Conflicts are bound to arise in our relationships from time to time. Very often, conflicts arise from simple mis-communication. At other times, conflicts are due to clashes of personalities.
Each of us deals with conflicts differently. There are at least 5 ways in which we can deal with conflicts, but not all of them lead to desirable outcomes. Can you identify which of these ways you predominantly use to resolve conflicts in your life?
- Avoidance – “It’s not a big problem. Why rock the boat?”
- Accommodation – “I’m willing to give up a lot to avoid conflicts.”
- Aggression – “I intend to win this conflict.”
- Compromise – “I’ll give in a little if you’re also giving in a little.”
- Problem Solving – ”If we discuss this honestly and openly, everyone can win.”
Not all of these styles are beneficial in the long run. The first three may avoid or delay conflicts, or kick the can down the road a little, but conflicts are not truly resolved. They may in fact fester and get worse later.
If you are using method 1 and 2, you may not be assertive enough and may in fact be treated like a doormat by others. If you prefer method 3, you may actually worsen the conflicts more often than not. Method 4 gives a satisfactory outcome but the best and most matured method is #5.
We all may use any one or all of the above methods to resolve conflicts in our life but there is usually one predominant style we used more often that the rest. So, can you recognize which is your predominant style in resolving conflicts?
If you are not using method 5, I think it is about time you give it a good try.